Cross-posted to Ask_Me_Anything

[amigone2515]

Friday is my mother's birthday. As per usual, we are going to a restaurant to celebrate. I have to bring a cake.

Anyway, this year my wife is actually not busy, and can attend. She is welcome, but her service dog isn't, according to them. I had a big argument with my sister about how it would embarass mom to be seen with a service dog in the group, and about how the restaurant will be crowded so he might get hurt, or even how something might happen so he might even hurt someone! (This insults me greatly). They think it will bring a bunch of unwanted attention, but they don't seem to see that a wheelchair (which is my wife's other option) will bring just as much, maybe even more attention. Besides, if she has the dog, she can get into places that are not wheelchair accessable.

Usually the wife and I are very compliant with their wishes. She CAN manage without him if I help her, but it doesn't work as well. She uses botox injections to relax her muscles in her legs so she can walk, and the botox is wearing off. We do not ask to bring him to their homes as they have their own pets and we don't want to start an issue there. But this meal will be in a restaurant, which is a place he is allowed to go without question.

How on earth do I handle this? My wife (rightfully so) now doesn't want to go. She feels judged and hurt that they would even think her dog would harm anyone, and I would imagine she feels that they think she is a liar about what her dog does. My dad is insisting that he change the restaurant to something less busy, but truthfully, everything is busy on Fridays. There will be tension if my wife goes. If she doesn't go, they get their way and will continue to insist that he is not welcome. If she doesn't go, I dont' want to go because I want to prove that she is family too, and quite frankly, I'm insulted by the whole ordeal.

Does anyone have any ideas how we can handle this situation?

Comments

[hana-broom.livejournal.com]

If he was a guide dog, would this even be a question? He's trained, he's not going to be noticable or hurt anyone! If he's like the other dogs I see, he'll curl up under the table and go to sleep while you're all busy anyway!

I think you should both stand your ground and go. It's not just about this single dinner - it's about every get together thereafter, too. They just have to get used to it! There might be tension to begin with, but if they make an issue or drama out of it, that's THEIR problem. You're not ruining anything.

*hugs*

[tabbcat.livejournal.com]

I agree with this 100%. I see the only options as (1) Take the dog, or (2) Both of y'all snub the mom. I'd prefer to just take the dog. Say the wheelchair is out of commission and it's your only option if you don't want a conflict, but honestly, she's got to deal with it.

[ghostangel.livejournal.com]

I agree, take the dog. Since it is a public place, they can't make a big deal about the dog, as it is a service dog, and thus allowed. If your mom cannot deal with the fact your mate needs a service dog to get around and is embarassed about it, I think they need to grow the fuck up. I agree that they have to deal with it. They need to learn to respect Josie.

[thirishar.livejournal.com]

This. Especially the "respect Josie" part.

[amigone.livejournal.com]

They think they can make a big deal, and they have.

I thought I'd wake up this morning and be less angry, but it turns out I'm not.

[karalianne.livejournal.com]

Yes, yes it would.

Apparently, even if she were blind and used a guide dog, the request to leave the dog behind would be made.

Hello, discrimination much?

I don't even have a user icon to express my emotions here right now.

[hana-broom.livejournal.com]

OMG. *hugs* some people are so, so ignorant and stupid.

I can totally understand the urge to just boycott and not go, but then again, I also think there's possibly a point to be made here. It would suck to bend once and then be expected to do so every single time afterwards.