![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
Freaked out at work today, and began bawling for no good reason. I think I scared the shit out of Jackie, poor woman...
I need to grow the hell up, and stop doing shit like this. I need to learn to be open to people, and to talk to people and tell them how I feel. I can't hold all the shit that I feel inside, and let it build up until I freak out somewhere. I am getting better though. I used to do that ALOT at school. Now, this is the first time I've done it ANYWHERE since June... something for me to think about, I guess...
I think I pissed andrew off. I was begging for him to pick me up from work, but then he just stopped answering my text messages. So I stopped sending them. I wish I weren't so damn annoying.
3 more days until I have two days off. I'm getting burned out, and am beginning to despise my workplace. It's so fucking slow, day in and day out (by slow, I mean no customers). I was gonna quit, but I ended up changing my mind because a) I talked my way into getting my hours back, and b)I didn't think anyone else would want me. Wanna know the truth? I've turned down two other jobs in the past month so that I could stay at Pocket Dawg. You know, I'm honestly not sure what keeps me there, other then the nice sized paycheque, and the friendly staff. Hmmm...
I didn't eat at all today until supper. I couldn't bring myself to do it, especially in public. It's strange being fat, if you go out to buy food, people just kinda stare, like, wow, how long will it take her to eat that? It makes one feel really bad.
I left Jaggy at work by herself at 4 pm because I was tired of being there, and wanted to go home.
my feet are VERY cold.
All I talk about is work and stuff about me. Maybe that's what a journal/diary is for, but other people talk about other things. Funny, I can't stop feeling sorry for myself long enough to talk about other things.
Yeah. I'm going now. More pessimism later.
I need to grow the hell up, and stop doing shit like this. I need to learn to be open to people, and to talk to people and tell them how I feel. I can't hold all the shit that I feel inside, and let it build up until I freak out somewhere. I am getting better though. I used to do that ALOT at school. Now, this is the first time I've done it ANYWHERE since June... something for me to think about, I guess...
I think I pissed andrew off. I was begging for him to pick me up from work, but then he just stopped answering my text messages. So I stopped sending them. I wish I weren't so damn annoying.
3 more days until I have two days off. I'm getting burned out, and am beginning to despise my workplace. It's so fucking slow, day in and day out (by slow, I mean no customers). I was gonna quit, but I ended up changing my mind because a) I talked my way into getting my hours back, and b)I didn't think anyone else would want me. Wanna know the truth? I've turned down two other jobs in the past month so that I could stay at Pocket Dawg. You know, I'm honestly not sure what keeps me there, other then the nice sized paycheque, and the friendly staff. Hmmm...
I didn't eat at all today until supper. I couldn't bring myself to do it, especially in public. It's strange being fat, if you go out to buy food, people just kinda stare, like, wow, how long will it take her to eat that? It makes one feel really bad.
I left Jaggy at work by herself at 4 pm because I was tired of being there, and wanted to go home.
my feet are VERY cold.
All I talk about is work and stuff about me. Maybe that's what a journal/diary is for, but other people talk about other things. Funny, I can't stop feeling sorry for myself long enough to talk about other things.
Yeah. I'm going now. More pessimism later.
