(no subject)

I am updated because I was reminded that I have a livejournal because of somethign that happened on f4f :) my mind... such a slippery little thing.

I'm tiiiiiiiiiireddddddddd. I wanna go to beeeeeeeeed...

which is exactly what I will do.

bon nuit!

(no subject)

I got it. I cannot believe I got it. I don't know why I want it. but it's mine.

The solo, in the song "When You Believe"... apparently, of those who auditioned, my voice is best suited for the song.

I had cold hands that were sweating... and I was only singing in front of 30 kids, and my music teacher.... what will happen when I'm at the Jubilee Auditorium, in front of 2000 people?

I won't be able to see Amanda Massey. She won't be able to raise her eyebrows and remind me to raise mine, or remind me to stand up straight, or to lift my cheeks and hard pallet, or to use proper breath support, or to phrase properly or to BREATHE!!

I truly hope that I dont' make a total fool out of myself in front of my graduating class. And my grandparents. Grandparents have a video camera. This worries me immensely. As well, so do other people's families.

I dont' suppose suicide is an acceptable way out of this. Because it's about the only way. I have accepted the solo, and now I have to practise. I will be come good. amazingly good. marvelously good. that's what will happen. that's what will have to happen.

I got 18/20 on my Hamlet monologue. I think it's a sign. I will be a performer of some sort when I become adult-like... I dont' believe that musicians ever "Grow up" in the conventional sense, so I will accept that :)

ER's finale rocked. I was happy, except for the gross carby kiss at the end *vomits*. It's abby and luka. why can't TPTB accept that?

la di da... I have a very boring life. I sort through the journals of friends, and they ahve tonnes of stuff to write. Me? the latest stories from band and choir classes.

tomorrow is friday. I have to work.

Also rob is pissing me off. He's mad that I haven't been to youth group or church in a while. Stay out of it. I want to switch churches. these guys are FAR too closed minded. I'm supposed to date only christians, be friends with only christians. annoying.

I'm not tired, I've not done my homework, and I have one more load of laundry to do. I think I am going to take my low fat mango yogurt out of the freezer, and eat it and surf a message board... TCS or F4F... *shrugs* maybe both.

I'll be back later...