amigone2515 | (no subject)

I can't seem to shake this black cloud that's over me. Sad now for three days. No logical reason, really.

I have a huge decision to make. I will post about it tomorrow, hopefully I will think clearer then. Things are fuzzy, and confusing. It's like a dream.

Meg - What time should we go on Tues? Me and Fiona are free all day, so we've decided to leave the decision up to you since we are both libras, and a trait of being libran is indecisiveness. So, choose please :)

I seem to meet the coolest people online. It's strange. I can tell these people anything about me, I can tell them my secrets, and they do not judge me. They don't care if I'm different from them, and if one of them is different too, then we are the same - different from everyone else. Makes the bond closer, if that's possible. Maybe some day I'll tell you all my secrets. It's hard to hold them in alot of the time. People take things differently if you are face to face with them then if you're over the computer. Granted, if you're over the comptuer, there's more of a chance for confusion - sarcasm taken literally, etc. But I can be so much more open to online friends and talk to them about things because I dont' have to look at their faces, because I won't see how they feel. I am good, no, excellent at reading people. I know what they thing. It's often not good. Or, I'm paranoid about others thinking badly about me. I try not to care, but maybe I do inside.

Or maybe I make it all up. Going to sit on the couch now, until the laundry is done. Then I shall sleep or something.

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*nods at the whole "secrets to people online" thing* Lee - ex-boyfriend/something kind of intangible - and I spent a very revealing 3 hours on ICQ once. Before we were dating, in fact. I wasn't as open about my sexuality as I am now, and ended up telling him that and all sorts of other things . . . it's much, much easier. [even though, at this point, I KNOW Shen-wei would react relatively positively to my telling him, I don't want to and I don't even know why. *shrugs*]

*hugs*

Ehh, start at 11ish, wrap up around six or so [assuming we can go that long]?

Good luck with your desision.

Thank you m'dear. I will explain it more tomorrow after I talk on the phone to some people in charge. :)

*nods* easier indeed. Unfortunately, I don't get a chance to meet my online friends, so I never know if their reactions are genuine, you know what I mean?

Start 11ish....... so like, pick you up what time?

Also, you won't believe what happened. Andrew and I were to meet Fiona at Silver City. We took some random street to shaganappi, shaganappi to country hills... and he sent me the wrong way! He told me "No, this is wrong, turn around", and I was skeptical again, and yet he was right.

Now, I know, if I'm ever lost, don't follow my gut feelings about where to go!

Yeah, true - but, by the same token, how do they know you're telling the truth? Works both ways. I say - if you have no reason to think otherwise - trust 'em. There are, i'truth, a great many wonderful people in the world - there are just more asshats and fucktards, especially those in one's life, who you can't just say, "You're an idiot. Get the fuck out of my life" to.

Takes a little under 30 [20, really, but I'll be generous] minutes to get to Fiona's, so 10:30 AM, as long as that works for you?

Hahaha! That's brill!

It's so amazing how much easier it is to discuss some things online. I've shared stuff with online friends that *no one* in real life knows. Hmm. I still get all paranoid though when I say something important online. I always think someone's gonna get mad at me or never speak to me again.

See, though, this is why you need to come down to LA. Cos then, you could *see* my reaction is not to think badly about you, no matter what! And plus, we can buy cherries for 89 cents a pound :D *rambles* Yea, back to bed for me...

Asshats and Fucktards. That's totally the name of an album :P

We'll do 30 mins... because chances are I'll go the wrong way somewhere :)

An example is the conversation I had with you a few weeks ago, among with some other secrets you know about me... Things I would not be able to tell friends here without having a panic attack first.

Unfortunately, LA isn't going to happen for me due to circumstances out of my control. It truly sucks.

You're always welcome here though :)